yesterday i drove to my parents’ with the kids. the 2 hour drive always prompts me to remember my 19 years growing up here before i left for college my sophomore year.
this drive made me think about who i was when i lived here. and who had a hand in molding who i am today.
and i thought of you.
i sometimes do this even when i’m not making this drive. you know, where you are. how you are. who you are.
i don’t wonder about you in a lustful way. or even in a “what could have been” kind of way. i know i married the right man for me. that i am sure.
but you did mean a lot to me for a period of time. and like all my close friends from long ago, i wonder if you’re okay. i hope you are.
i hope you are successful. and happy. and in a good place. because i really have no idea who you have become. and it makes me nervous, honestly, because i remember wondering what choices you would make as you got older. (because i wondered what choices *i* would make as well.)
i haven’t seen you in probably 14 years. it’s been 10 years since we’ve spoken. i remember the night you called my parents’ house on a whim and i was actually there. alone. you were in town (i guess you had moved away) and thought you’d try to call just to see if i was around. you found out i was married that night. and for the rest of the phone conversation you only called me mrs. white. i don’t know why i remember that.
that was the last i heard from you.
it feels odd. kinda. like i should talk to you more often for some reason. i’m not sure why i feel that way. but you were a friend. one that i won’t forget.
i am successful. and happy. and in a good place.
just in case you were wondering too.
this is me, just writing, a day late.