We need each other.

Here I go, ranting again, but this time about this whole “Who has it easier” crap I’m reading on the internet. Stay at home moms or working moms?


Seriously, I’m about to blow up.

(Now, I’ll stop for one minute to say I have not read this book (Welcome to My World). But just the fact that there is a BOOK that is written by bloggers debating “who has it easier” is total crap.)

I’ve been on both sides. I worked 25-30 hours a week for 8 years while being a mom. I’ve also been a SAHM for almost a year now. And let me tell you – one is not easier than the other. Some days it’s easier to be at home and some days it’s easier to be at work. There are different stresses on each side.

What works for you might not work for me. But both of our choices are right. And both are hard.

Being a mom is hard. Hard enough without other women making you feel bad for making the best choice for your family.

I just don’t get why moms would even enter into that debate. Is it to get published or to attract more viewers to your blog? All it does is make the other side defensive and hurt. And feel like she needs to prove her choice was best. Or easier. Or harder. Or the right one.

You don’t need to prove anything.

I did this for a long time – tried to prove to SAHMs why I worked. And then I found myself trying to prove to working moms why I decided to stay home. And all it did was drive me bat crazy.

Why do we do this to each other? Why do we alienate each other? Wouldn’t it be EASIER to just support each other as women and moms?

Get it together ladies. We need each other.

About Katie White

believer. wife. mom. friend. life in transition.
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6 Responses to We need each other.

  1. Angie Perry says:

    I agree 100% with you, Katie. I have spent a lot of time feeling guilty for working. I stayed home with my kids for three years, and I was so happy to go back to work. But I saw how hard a job it was to be at home and thankfully figured out that it worked better for my whole family for me to work. I feel like I am constantly monitoring my family’s well-being and constantly re-assessing if I should be working. But for the most part I have been able to move on, guilt-free with my decision.

    What I have noticed is that it isn’t usually SAHM’s that make me feel bad about my choice. It is my own inner-voice (which comes from society as a whole) that tells me that I shouldn’t be working and I am doing my kids a disservice. So once I got that perspective, I realized that either choice works and I need to rise above all the chatter. Books and blogs about the subject are just ridiculous and self-serving, as you said.

    Thanks for the rant! 🙂

  2. I wanted to stand up and applaud you from my home when I got to “WHO CARES.”

    I have seen so many posts and articles devoted to this subject and I just don’t get it. All I care about is how are my friends doing in their role of SAHM or working mom. Are they happy? Is the choice right for them and their family? I certainly don’t need to prove my choice is “better” than the alternative and I hope I never make a mom feel inferior if she chose differently than me.

  3. Jessica says:

    AMEN sister! Great post…agree with you 100%!

  4. Beth says:

    Preach it! So much wasted energy! Having done both myself, I whole heartedly agree, Katie. Neither path is the “easier” one. It can be a tough decision to make but only because it’s about figuring out what is best for YOU and YOUR family. Not my family, not your neighbor’s family, not anybody else. We would all be wise to move on from the notion that one choice is an absolute “right” and the other is an absolute “wrong”.

  5. AMEN!!! And for the record, as one who has only been a SAHM, I have always assumed that working moms have the tougher job. I admire them SO much for being able to fit it all in. I guess I’m falling into the debate here, but just wanted to go on record that if I WERE to debate, I wouldn’t be on my own side.

    Motherhood is tough. Thanks God for His grace to enable you to do whatever He has for you, wherever He has you from 8-5. Move on.

  6. This really is a great–and simple–way to put it. I agree with Angie too, a lot of times, it’s my own internal voice that tries to tell me which is “better” and which is “worse.” It’s exhausting–and pointless. Thanks for this post, it really helped me to put things into perspective today after a really long week of questioning everything at work and at home… I love the “do what works for you” attitude. 🙂

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