It’s been a long day.
I’m not sure what it is. I woke up fine, after 7am (which is great since for awhile Baby Jedi was awake by 6am each day). But the moment I got out of the shower at 8:15am, something snapped.
I’m not sure what happened. But I started in on the girls (for decent reasons) and then my mood crashed. Big time. I was short with Adam and the girls about the house being such a mess. “We DO have a chore chart now. It SHOULD be working better since we all know our responsibilities.” (Really wanting to say that the girls’ toys are still all over the house even though picking up toys is a nightly chore and that Adam still didn’t put away the clean dishwasher and the dishes were overflowing out of the sink.)
I think this summer is wearing on me. Being together non-stop for the first time ever. This is the first summer I haven’t worked, therefore the first summer the girls have spent every single day, all day, with each other. And with me. I think it’ll be better once school starts. I hope I see a difference in a couple weeks.
Or I’ll need to go back to work. Which I don’t think I want to do. But I don’t want to be like this. Maybe it’s just the stress of starting a new (very part-time) gig last week and still keeping up with the end of my other (very part-time) gig.
That may be one of the reasons I’m feeling out of it. For the first time I’m actually preparing to really not work for the school. It’s been almost 4 years since I started there. And I loved that job. But I’m seeing that I let it define me too much. Kinda like I let my family define me.
Today I read a post by my friend Emily about treating yourself. You know, little things that make you feel good, because you’re worth it. And after reading it, I’ve decided apparently I don’t do it enough, because I couldn’t think of anything I had done for myself lately and also? Because I’m not feeling so good.
So I think I’ll change that. Tonight.
We’re going to the Indiana State Fair tonight. (Which I LOVE!!!!) And I’m going to get fried veggies to eat. Even though they’ll tear up my stomach tomorrow. Even though my husband despises spending money at the fair. Momma loves her some fried veggies.
And sometimes it’s just the littlest thing that kicks your butt back into gear. Mine just happens to be the fair and fried veggies.